Untrainable

By: Jamie Schlosser

To Nikki Quinn,

For inspiring this book. And for being there for me when you didn’t even realize how badly I needed your friendship. Don’t ever lose your extra-ness.





It doesn’t take much to become the laughing stock of reality television. Just ask Theodore “Theo-Dog” Legend. Once you’ve pissed on a fire hydrant in front of the paparazzi, no one ever lets you forget it.



Hadley Holiday is on her way to being America’s sweetheart, thanks to her dog training routine on a national talent show. Although she didn’t win first prize, she snagged Theo’s attention and he’ll do just about anything to make her his—even if it means being the butt of everyone’s joke once again.



Hadley wants a career in showbiz. Theo needs to get rid of that doggone nickname—pun intended. Pairing the two together on a new show sounds like a disaster waiting to happen… or it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to them.





“I WANT HADLEY HOLIDAY.”

The statement was out of my mouth before my ass even hit the upholstery of the restaurant chair. Not exactly how I’d planned on starting this conversation, but no one could ever accuse me of having tact.

I cleared my throat.

“What I mean is, I need a favor only you can deliver. No one has connections like you.” A little flattery never hurt, and I packaged it up with a charming smile most couldn’t turn down.

Marvin looked puzzled at the abrupt beginning of our meeting, his eyebrows mashing together like two salt-and-pepper caterpillars. “I’m not a matchmaker, Theo.”

“I’m aware,” I said dryly. “It’s not for that.”

“Really?” he asked, unconvinced.

Well. For the last two months Hadley Holiday had been my obsession. The haunter of my dreams—sometimes wet dreams.

I’d never been a believer in love at first sight until she’d appeared on my TV. From the first episode of The Final Showdown I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And it wasn’t just because she was beautiful, focused, driven, poised, beautiful, smart… Did I mention beautiful?

She had a tendency to talk too much when she was nervous. The sound of her laugh made my fingers twitch and my heart race. There was something so wholesome about her. And wholesome was something I craved.

Maybe the months of self-imposed isolation from society had done something to my mind, because what started as a small seed of interest turned into full-blown internet stalking.

I’d told myself it would be enough to see pictures of her and find out where she lived.

Only made it worse.

Because it turned out we had some stuff in common. She had a degree in accounting, just like me. And she lived less than two miles from my apartment. Her place was just a jog away.

Okay, so that was about as far as our similarities went. Hadley was perfection personified, while I was the furthest thing from it. But you know what they say—opposites attract.

But I wasn’t about to admit all that to Marvin.

I was trying to be a professional here.

Besides, I hadn’t stepped it up to actual stalking.

Yet.

Although some people might argue that what I was about to suggest was next-level creepy.

My fingers tapped nervously on the tabletop. “I have a business proposition for you, and it involves her.”

“Interesting.” Marvin steepled his hands. “I take it you watched The Final Showdown.”

“Of course.” So did everyone else in America. “Seems like the network is doing well with the new changes.”

Night Time Television—also known as NTT—was a Chicago-based network that had started out featuring gossip news and risqué reality shows chock-full of drama, partying, and sexual innuendos. In other words, not safe for the kiddos. I would know that better than anyone. As one of the key ingredients to the network’s early success, I was a major player in everything they represented.

But recent changes had moved NTT in a more family-friendly direction. More specifically, the first season of the talent show that had just come to an end two nights ago. It had the highest ratings of any show they’d ever aired.

Marvin nodded. “I wasn’t sure if you would tune in for this one…” He paused, treading lightly. “Since Aiden was on it.”

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